Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I am a Blessed and Charged Little Panda Bear

So I had this dream a couple of nights ago that I was in the shallow water of a lake, or maybe it was the bank side of a river...

But I had a fishing pole in my hand and remember specifically that I was not trying to catch anything, in fact, I was just reeling in the line to pack up and get ready to go.   However, my line had a tug on it and convinced it was just caught up on some moss or a stone, I walked toward it to help reel it in without breaking the line. It was then that I realized that I actually had something on the line, for it began to pull away.  So I walked to shore, dragging the pole and towing the line behind me.  When I got in shallow enough water, I freaked out for I had an extremely large fish on my line!!!  I mean, like HUGE!  My dad was on the bank, so I said, "Dad!  Help me!"

He ran out into the shallow waters and scooped the heavy fish up with both arms and carried it onto the shore.  We stared in amazement at the BIG FISH and he even said, "It must be at least a 50 pounder!" We unhooked it and stood in awe around the anomaly, trying to guess it's species, but couldn't nail it down to any category.  And as we discussed it, the big guy wiggled his way back into the water to swim away free. 

I remember in my dream feeling upset for letting him get away, but I have thought a LOT about the dream since then and have come to the conclusion that it was a necessary part of my dream.  You see, fish have many meanings according to my "Hidden Meaning of Dreams" book.

One of them is that "Fish are a product of the emotions and intuition, as opposed to the materialistic, earthbound approach to life."  This is very important to me as no matter how many material possessions we have, nor how big and status worthy they may be, nothing compares to the power of the spirit within us.  Our ability to let go of the things we are attached to is our ultimate freedom.  It is only then, I believe, that we may truly live.  To me, in this regard, the fish represents my understanding of this concept, and according to the book, I am experiencing a period of personal growth.  It's the truth. I am very much so...

On my birthday, March 18th, I re-devoted my heart to Christ.  Since then SO much has changed for the better in my life.  In fact, my dream book also considers the fish to be "A symbol of Christ," and even more, "a mystical insight into my divine potential."  

Since I've been back to church and seeking His knowledge and wisdom, I have felt called to do great things to not only deepen my relationship with Him, but also to set an example for others.  Similarly, as the fish in my dream came unexpectedly and got away just as easily, it is important to mirror that example in my faith.  I feel that the fish's freedom represents me sacrificing my selfish needs and surrendering it all back to Him.  By doing so, I will be much more greatly rewarded and so will those whose lives I brush along my path.  You see, I don't intend to be preachy, but I want my light to shine, my love to spill over, and my new found successes to speak for themselves!  I want others to see His work through me and become seekers themselves. In this way I am letting that BIG fish go - freely - and happily - and HOPEFULLY into the hearts of those seeking something better and greater who I am able to touch with my life example.

In my past, I have continuously struggled to publish my Children's literature, mainly because I am the only one holding myself accountable.  Until now.  Now I have a greater spirit inside me, encouraging me to do great things and share His spirit with others.  Now if I fail to do so, I will not only be failing myself, but Him also.  It sounds scary and heavy, but it is nothing even close to that.  As I grow and expand my relationship with Christ, I am only fueling the strength inside of me and I feel so much more alive and full of purpose than ever before.

So I felt it important to share here, with you all, whoever reads this message, to feel the love and watch my growth over the next few months, years, forever.  I know it won't be easy, for it hasn't been easy so far, but with Him - I am filled with love and strength - within.  I need not look anywhere else.  His spirit is in me - in my heart - and in my words.  Bless you all!

Here's some poetry that's been coming to me in the quietness of my prayers.  Hope you can truly HEAR it.



Panda's Powerful Prayer Poetry


A wellspring of love
     Inside of me
To conquer the pain
     That tries me.


The word is just the beginning
His love is the middle
True Christian work is a means to the end.


I am with you - 
In you and around you.
I am the light
That you ask for
Shine me bright
So darkness can see.


Clean the roadblocks from your life
Ask Jesus to shine His light
Wash the dirty doubt away
Let God's glory reign today!

Don't fear the unwilling ears
Go, seek the unclean and weak.
They need His love just as you
Go spread light, Get to it, too!!


The day you wake up and are ready to die
Is the day you will be the most alive.


He sacrificed His son for me
The battle's still not won, I see
My sacrifice for Him must come
I must lead the lost to the One.

No one said it would be that fun
And I'll be judged by everyone.
But if I let the love flow free
And surrender what he gave me

Then worry, fear, frustration and more
Will fade away - out the back door
And I will give my heart to Him
And be free from the world of sin.

Will you do it, too? Let Him in?
His word is power - read it then!
His word is power - read it then!
And sacrifice your life for Him!


Today I pray 
That He bless me
With all I need
To make my dreams
His reality --
It's ALL for Him
ALL ways - All days.





Today I pray for my calling
Today I pray He called me
For His purpose is great and good
And I have said all that I could

Now I just believe and sing
These verses that He gave to me
Out there, for the whole world to see
Yet only He may bless their reach.


Thanks for being here :)

Ms. Panda

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